


many happy returns

by Anonymous



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/F, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Pining, Sugar Baby AU, it's a happy ending to ME okay, overly specific entrepreneurship/innovation au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:01:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Well, thank you very much Son Chaeyoung, for my last nice indulgence in a while.”Chaeyoung’s mouth formed the words before she knew what she had done. “What if it doesn’t have to be?” Sana froze at that.Chaeyoung couldn’t stop talking. “I mean, I can… keep buying you coffee. And maybe, other stuff?” She ended in a squeak.Sana recovered enough to cast a gentle smile in her direction. “Can you afford me?”// or, what starts as a sachaeng accidental (sugar) baby acquisition AU, doesn’t always end like one.
Relationships: Minatozaki Sana/Son Chaeyoung
Collections: Girl Group Jukebox (Round 3)





	many happy returns

**Author's Note:**

> Written for GG Jukebox Round 3, inspired by enemy by Charli XCX
> 
> Look, i’m not gonna lie. This was almost 100% inspired by those 201104 Sachaeng pics where [Chaeyoung looks expensive as fuck in that fur coat](https://twitter.com/holycub/status/1323958299360985089?s=20). Also, since this is entirely fiction, Chaeyoung has a sister in this, FYI. 
> 
> This one's for sachaeng nation!! and for ggjukebox!! I'll post the whole playlist once author reveals are out :)

## Prelude ✨

It was snowing. It was snowing, and Chaeyoung was watching Sana instead, sleeping peacefully in her bed under her sheets, head on her pillow, dressed in a silky piece of lingerie that Chaeyoung had bought two weeks ago. She was shivering, and Chaeyoung instinctually brought up the duvet to cover Sana’s bare shoulders, and a part of her cooed at the way Sana snuggled into the warmth of the blanket, the way she burrowed her head into the pillow.

The other part of Chaeyoung recoiled at the touch, which was in direct contrast with how she’d reacted to Sana last night. Chaeyoung had reached for Sana last night, had practically thrown herself at her, had moaned much louder than she normally would when Sana sucked at her collarbone, when Sana had trailed her fingers down her torso, dancing over her ribcage, digging into her hips. 

Chaeyoung had wanted Sana, she had _needed_ Sana with a sense of urgency she hadn’t felt in a long, long time last night. And yet, here she was now, staring at the woman in her bed with dual senses of affection and horror. 

She never intended for it to go this far, and she felt a panic rising in her chest. Sana was here, in her house, had seen all of her CD collection in the living room, had giggled as she left her shoes in the pile next to the immaculate, untouched shoe rack, had seen her medicine cabinet, _god had seen her medicine cabinet_ , Chaeyoung had to get up now and go make sure that the label of her Lexapro was facing away from the front of the shelf. 

God, she’d seen the bedroom too, seen all of Chaeyoung’s knicknacks from around the world, the ridiculous snow globes that her sister sent her, no matter how many times she told her to knock it off. Sana was going to think that she was a cheesy bastard with an affinity for gift shops. She’d seen the clutter lingering on every surface in Chaeyoung’s house, clutter that materialized no matter how many times she listened to _The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up_. She’d seen the stuffed liquor cabinet, one that looked like it could last anyone else a long time. She’d seen the calendar in the kitchen, circled and marked with appointments and meetings and colorful slang and even more colorful gel pens, showcasing every detail of Chaeyoung’s life.

It wasn’t just the house, but Chaeyoung was remembering quickly how she’d acted to Sana last night, how she’d spilled her guts about work, about her sister, about the assholes that felt like they would stop at nothing to make sure Chaeyoung never succeeded again. Sana had listened with wide eyes, kind eyes, eyes that Chaeyoung _knew_ could change to calculating in an instant, she _knew_ that and she couldn't help herself anyway, just couldn’t help herself from giving Sana every she needed to destroy Son Chaeyoung once and for all.

Chaeyoung watched the snow fall through the window, a cold, wet dread lodging in her chest, growing and growing as she wondered how the hell she had gotten here in the first place.

## One ✨

“Oh, sorry,” the barista said, fumbling with the card machine while Chaeyoung smiled and tried not to let her patience run thin. _It really wasn’t the barista’s fault,_ she reminded herself. _If you blew up at a service worker, would it make you any different than all of those assholes upstairs?_

“No worries,” was what she said instead, choosing to let her eyes drift around the coffee shop that was nestled on the ground floor of the building. The assholes upstairs, for the most part, remained upstairs, except for one of the slimiest ones, Steve Kim, who had his burly arm around a beautiful girl at the condiments station in the corner. 

He was whispering something to her that made her face shut down, the vibrancy Chaeyoung could see in her eyes completely wiped blank as she listened to Steve probably spitting in her ear. Then, he spun around and left her standing by the condiments, wiping the back of his hand and spitting into a nearby plant while he was at it.

Chaeyoung didn’t need any more reasons to hate Steve Kim. He gave her plenty by existing, by his constant snarky comments about women entrepreneurs, how there was a _reason_ that women weren’t as represented in venture funding and successful businesses. Most of the startup bros in her world at least tried to add a touch of subtlety to their misogyny, but Steve probably considered subtlety too feminine or some shit like that.

Even so, she was so caught up in watching the beautiful girl compose herself with a few breaths, then straighten her back like nothing had happened that she barely heard the barista talking again. 

“Sorry again for the wait, the machine somehow added your order with the last one so I’m trying to undo it. And I need to call her back to pay again.”

Chaeyoung blinked back at the barista. Mimi, her name tag said. “Who bought the coffee before mine?”

“Oh, that girl by the condiments.”

Chaeyoung looked over at her again, face hidden by the shadows as she looked in the opposite direction. 

“Let it be.”

Mimi stopped. “Sorry?”

“I’ll pay for hers, as long as you can have both of our orders ready ASAP.”

Mimi looked surprised, but Chaeyoung gave her a dismissive wave of hand, the same type of wave she gave her board members after they were being far too tiresome. “Please consider it my random act of kindness for the day.” 

While Mimi busied herself with the coffees, Chaeyoung lingered at a table, taking her phone out but not turning it on. Instead, she watched the girl take her own phone out, with a barely shaking hand. Anyone else who was looking probably would have glanced at her and looked away, but Chaeyoung caught the tremor in her hand, the wobble of her lip as she waited for the coffee. 

“Sana?”

The girl looked up, pasting a bright smile on her face at the sound of Mimi’s voice. 

“Thanks.”

“You should thank her,” Mimi said, pointing to where Chaeyoung was sitting. Where Chaeyoung had been watching the whole exchange, and now had no time to look away or look busy. She was caught out, and just caught a twinkle of amusement in the girl’s face before she pretended to be knee deep in typing an email on her phone.

Chaeyoung continued to keep her eyes bored into her phone, even as she heard the steps coming near her. 

“Hey.”

Later, Chaeyoung would think back to this moment, before she really had ever truly set eyes on Minatozaki Sana, before she would fall deeper into the entanglements of Sana’s public life and her even more tangled inner life, before she even knew her last name, before Sana would come to mean everything precious and everything painful and everything, everything, just because of who she was. Chaeyoung couldn’t help it.

But right now was the time for Chaeyoung to look up and really see Sana’s eyes for the first time. Those eyes were shining now, the vibrancy wiped out by Steve Fuckface back in full force, and they were shining directly at Chaeyoung. 

“Thank you,” Sana said, holding out her steaming cup of coffee. She looked as if she could barely keep a smile off her face. “But aren’t you a little young to be hitting on me?”

Chaeyoung coughed, choking a bit on her own spit. “Agh! I mean– no. No! No, I’m not hitting on you.” She collected herself, sitting up straight. “Consider it a random act of kindness for the day.”

“Are you doing some sort of challenge?” Sana asked.

“What?”

“Like, you’re so inconsiderate in your daily life that your therapist told you to try being nice to one person a day, like, at a _minimum_.”

“That’s weirdly specific.”

“You didn’t say no.”

Chaeyoung felt helpless, disarmed already. “I just wanted to.”

“So you’re buying me things for the _pleasure_ of it?” A part of Chaeyoung shuddered at the way Sana said it. Like it was wholly innocent and entirely indecent all at once. And Sana wasn’t wrong. What had started as a quick decision to get her drink faster was now… _this._ This woman standing in front of her, making sparkly eyes at her, only for her. It felt _good_ to buy this random pretty girl a coffee. For some reason, it made Chaeyoung’s insides feel hot.

And somehow, Sana smiled at the look on her face. “Ah. Is this a kink thing or something?”

“What–! No,” Chaeyoung spluttered. “I never… no!” 

Sana looked weirdly disappointed, but the look didn’t stay on her face for long. She smiled brightly, the type of smile that could blind a person if they stared long enough. “Ah, well. Whatever you say. Thanks, darling.” And with a wink she walked out of the shop. Chaeyoung watched her go with disbelief before realizing she had never gotten her coffee. It was sitting, cooling on the countertop. Mimi watched her grab it with a small smile.

“It’s been ready, but I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“There was nothing to interrupt,” Chaeyoung said with no malice. The morning had been a bit more interesting than she’d planned for, but no matter. She had work to do, startups to mentor, men to fight. She gathered herself and her coffee, slipped a bill into Mimi’s tip jar, and headed upstairs. 

## Two ✨

The second time Chaeyoung saw Sana wasn’t technically the second time. She had glimpsed her light hair at the Equality Conference last week, where one could really play who’s who of Seoul’s startup ecosystem in the way that anyone who mattered rushed to attend. 

Chaeyoung found it hilarious, watching all the people she had worked with over the past five years trip all over themselves trying to convince others about how much they _cared_ about diversity and how much they wanted to include everyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Chaeyoung liked to play a game at these kinds of events, where she’d take a sip of her champagne every time she spotted someone who’d denied her funding back when she’d first started StyleSlice, before she’d made her big exit and ended up with more than money than she’d known what to do with. Bonus points if they had made it clear that they didn’t do deals with women, especially gay women like herself. 

Chaeyoung had begun playing that game when she had few compatriots in a world dominated by tech bros, but over the years she’d accumulated a very small army of allies, who could even be considered friends if the need arose. And now, the need definitely arose. She’d stopped taking full sips at events like this, because doing so would leave her completely plastered due to the rules of her little game, but even plastered she knew her mentor would come find her.

“Chaeyoung.”

Chaeyoung smiled at Im Nayeon, who stood in her purple pantsuit dripping in money. “Unnie.”

Nayeon looked disapprovingly at the glass in her hand. “I thought you were working on that.”

“I can’t even feel it yet!” Chaeyoung took a sip just to piss Nayeon off.

“That’s the problem,” Nayeon said, though she made no move to take the drink from her hand. As usual, Nayeon was full of talk, all worried eyes and fluttering hands, though she’d slice a man straight down the middle with a glance if they spoke to her like Chaeyoung did. 

“I promise that this is just my first one, and I’m making it a point to nurse it all night, _mom_.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Nayeon snapped, though she looked like instantly regretted it. She pinched the space between her eyes with a sigh. “I just want you to be able to function like a normal person, after everything. I’ve seen a lot of young founders flush with cash, dumping it into these...vices.”

Chaeyoung gripped her champagne glass a little harder. “That’s why I come to these things then. Free booze.”

“You know what I mean,” Nayeon said, wearily. In the silence that followed, she regarded the crowd as Chaeyoung regarded her. It wasn’t that Chaeyoung didn’t appreciate her, or take her advice. Nayeon had been priceless in mentoring Chaeyoung when she was the greenest little founder in Seoul, and she wouldn't have walked away from her acquisition with so much money if not for Nayeon’s ruthless lessons in negotiating. 

It was that Nayeon almost always was _right,_ and Chaeyoung knew it. It was stupid path to continue on, flirting so closely with how much she could drink on any evening, and Chaeyoung could feel herself pushing and pushing towards needing more each time. And yet, she wanted to handle something herself for once, without Im Nayeon swooping in to save her. Was it so much to ask?

Nayeon had left her alone after a few more reassurances that she could handle herself, she was twenty-three after all. And that had been when she saw Sana’s hair glimmering under the neon lights in the event space. She was standing on Steve Kim’s arm, a completely different look on her face. Chaeyoung wasn’t sure that she would have recognized her without that hair, and the eyes. 

This Sana wasn’t outrageously flirtatious as she’d been in the coffee shop. Nor was she carefully blank. Now, she was the perfect little trophy. Practically no one paid any attention to her aside from trailing lecherous eyes over her body, over each curve dressed in a deep red wrap dress, clinging to every part of her like a second skin. She played her part well, nodding at all the right times, eyes darting to whoever was speaking in the group, scampering off to get Steve another drink when he waved his hand at her, saying something to the group once she’d left that caused little chuckles. 

Chaeyoung thought that she might have been caught staring at one point, but Sana just let her eyes graze over the crowd where Chaeyoung was standing before snapping back to attention at something Steve said.

It made something ugly curl in Chaeyoung’s stomach, watching Steve’s hand settle back on Sana’s hip, watching her _let_ him. 

Something in her said fuck her little game. She never adhered to the rules anyway, as she tipped back her practically full glass of champagne in one go, feeling the bubbles crawl down her throat until nothing else was coming. She made her way to the champagne tower table to grab another one, two for good measure and threw those back too. The last thing she remembered was Nayeon’s face, half fear and half disapproval, coming towards her.

Anyway. Chaeyoung preferred not to think of the second time she’d ever seen Sana, so she counted this time, again in the coffee shop downstairs in the office building, as the real second time. After all, it was the second time Sana had spoken to her, and Sana was the one who counted. 

And Chaeyoung said hi first, this time. At the greeting, Sana had looked up from the table she was sitting at, and a wide smile grew on her face as she saw who it was.

“Hello there. Come to buy me a coffee again?”

As it were, Chaeyoung wasn’t really sure what she was here for. She saw Sana sitting there, looking calm and poised, and her legs moved before her brain did. “If you want. Whatever you want.”

Somehow, Chaeyoung was exceptionally skilled at saying both the wrong thing and the right thing. Because the look on Sana’s face turned predatory and playful all at once. “Whatever _I_ want? How generous. I don’t know if you know how broad that category can be.”

At least this time, Chaeyoung was somewhat prepared. “Whatever you’d like from the coffee shop.” She waved her arm in the general direction of the menu. “Coffee or some pastry. My treat.” 

“Ah, I should have known there were stipulations,” Sana said, not put out at all if the batting of her eyes was any indication. “I’ll take a French vanilla mocha with a large croissant on the side.” She paused, blinking her huge eyes up at Chaeyoung like a baby. “Please.”

Chaeyoung found herself in the line, whipping out her credit card faster than Sana could pout one more time.

For the coffee, it seemed that Sana granted her the privilege of watching her eat, very slowly, taking one decadent bite and then savoring it for a full minute while making eye contact across the ottoman. Chaeyoung wondered, not for the first time, what the hell she was doing here. 

Sana finished the croissant, and then she changed Chaeyoung’s life. 

“Thank you, darling,” she said, casually, while Chaeyoung’s eyes bugged out of her head. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Son Chaeyoung.”  
“I appreciate the treat, Son Chaeyoung.” The thing was, Chaeyoung _believed_ her. Sana leaned forward to say it, placed her hands neatly in a pile on the ottoman, and gazed earnestly into Chaeyoung’s eyes. “It might be my last for a while.”

“Why?” Chaeyoung was still feeling monosyllabic. She might regain speech if Sana just stopped _looking_ at her like that. Like she wanted to eat her up but couldn’t decide where to start.

“Ah, it’s time to… rethink my finances a bit, that’s all,” Sana said airly. “I’m starting to think that this one just isn’t worth it.” She took a delicate sip from her latte, moaning in delight. Chaeyoung swallowed, trying to focus on their conversation.

“This one?”

Sana leveled her with a glance. “Do you know who I am?”

“Your Steve Kim’s… girlfriend?”

“Only sometimes.” Sana said, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “And he pays handsomely for the privilege. As others do. But sometimes I have my limits. I have to.” She finished the last bit in a whisper.

Ah. Chaeyoung could have guessed that if she wasn’t the most repressed person this side of Seoul. She colored despite her best efforts to remain nonchalant and found herself unable to say anything.

Sana noticed. Chaeyoung wasn’t sure if anything escaped her sharp attention, despite the ditzy act she could put on. “Sorry.” Again, it sounded so _genuine_. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You know Steve? Do you work with him?”

Despite all signs pointing to Sana being different than most people, Chaeyoung was still surprised at the question. People rarely assumed that she had a right to be at InnovationCore, the accelerator and main tenant in the gorgeous building they found themselves in. Either due to her age or her gender or just how small and unassuming she was, it usually was “Where’s your mom?” “Are you lost?” And her favorite one “Get me coffee, would you doll?” No one ever suspected that she was the person who might sign their checks for investment.

But Sana was here instead.

How could Chaeyoung describe it? “We work in the same circles,” she settled on. 

“I’ve seen you,” Sana said casually. Chaeyoung desperately racked her mind for other instances when Sana had been in her presence. Had she seen her later in the night of the Equality Conference, when she’d blacked out and woken up on her own couch, fully dressed and mouth dry? “You looked powerful, but alone. I never knew your name though.”

“I...looked powerful.”

“You look powerful right now,” Sana said, eyes predatory. She leaned in a little closer. “That coat screams it. You’re not even trying, aren’t you? Not like these half-wits who need the validation of flashing their money all over the place.”

“I’m not trying.” Chaeyoung unconsciously adjusted the seam of her fur coat. She had worn it because she was cold, not to catch anyone’s eye, but it seemed that she had succeeded on the second count regardless. “Not for… anything. I mean, I just wanted to do something nice for you. Is that a crime?”

“For little old me?”

“You’re not that old.”

“I suppose I’m not,” Sana said, stretching languidly. She made to get up. “Well, thank you very much Son Chaeyoung, for my last nice indulgence in a while.”

Chaeyoung’s mouth formed the words before she knew what she had done. “What if it doesn’t have to be?” Sana froze at that. 

Chaeyoung couldn’t stop talking. “I mean, I can… keep buying you coffee. And maybe, other stuff?” She ended in a squeak.

Sana recovered enough to cast a gentle smile in her direction. “Can you afford me?”

Chaeyoung, five years ago, would not have been able to afford this girl in any way, shape or form. Barely out of high school, with an exploding tech startup under her belt that she could barely keep up with, Chaeyoung five years ago was sapped of time and money, running on pure adrenaline and spite. But now, Chaeyoung at age 23, still far too young with now far too much money, was in a very different place. It still made her head swim when she thought about the trajectory of her life so far, from student to entrepreneur to veritable millionaire to investor, trying to put some good back into the world for the up-and-coming startups of the world. 

“Do you know who _I_ am?” Chaeyoung said when she’d recovered her voice. 

Sana sized her up for a minute. “You barely know me. I could be crazy. I could be your worst nightmare.” She said it conversationally, as if they were discussing the weather.

Chaeyoung studied her. “I don’t think you are,” she finally said. 

“Of course not. You have very good taste,” she let her eyes slide over Chaeyoung’s body. “As do I, apparently.”

It made Chaeyoung flush, even under her thick coat, and she felt that Sana _knew_ it too, though she had no way of seeing. She swore that Sana's eyes on her body had scrambled her brain, which is why she then said “I’ve never done this before.”

“I guessed that,” Sana said gently. “I just want you to be sure, be sure that you can afford me. And I mean more than just the money.” She regarded Chaeyoung for a moment, then dug around in her bag for a slip of paper. Chaeyoung watched as she clicked open a pen and darted out a series of numbers on the blank side. 

“Here.” Chaeyoung took the paper with wonder. “Call me, Son Chaeyoung, if you decide that I’m in your budget.” Sana stood up, shaking her head so her hair fell in the most perfect way. It looked effortless, and yet somehow Chaeyoung knew that Sana had practiced that move countless times, perfected it on so many people just like herself to have the maximum impact on someone like her. And it did.

Chaeyoung waited twelve hours, the absolute limit of her restraint before she was dialing the number. 

## Three ✨

“I think you’re more nervous than I am,” Sana remarked as Chaeyoung fidgeted with the collar of her pea coat. It was cold in Seoul that night, the first biting winds of winter cutting their way through the skyscrapers to nip at exposed ankles and shivering fingers of those brave enough to step outside. It was a short walk from the parking garage to the elevators, and Chaeyoung was still shivering where her coat had bunched up and exposed her wrists to the icy wind. Or maybe she was shaky from the prospect of bringing Sana to an Event™ in her work circles, especially after she’d ended things with Steve. 

“I don’t want things to be difficult for you,” Chaeyoung ended up saying as she pressed the up button on the elevator with one frozen finger. “I’ll stick with you the entire time.”

Sana blinked. Chaeyoung wondered if she had maybe said something wrong, until Sana smiled faintly at her, taking her cold hand into Sana’s warm one. How was she even warm right now, Chaeyoung wondered, until Sana brushed one of her fingers over Chaeyoung’s bumpy knuckles, tracing at each tiny tattoo with her fingernail until Chaeyoung forgot the cold completely. 

“You’re really something, Son Chaeyoung.”

The elevator dinged and opened in front of them, and Sana had to lead Chaeyoung into it, still smiling that little smile the entire time.

It had been two months now, of Chaeyoung buying Sana coffee, among other things. Sana had met her at a different coffee shop the very next day from when Chaeyoung called, dressed more professionally than Chaeyoung had ever seen in a sharp blazer suit set, and yet Sana still looked like the perfect woman in her shoulder pads and leather tote bag. Sana smiled when she saw Chaeyoung come in, putting her at ease despite how uncomfortable she was, and how much she wanted Sana, and how uncomfortable she was at how much she wanted Sana. 

“I usually don’t go to these lengths, but I wanted to tell you everything that I usually do in these types of relationships,” Sana started, laying out how she received stipends, or gifts, or fancy meals, or expensive handbags from men, sometimes from women, in exchange for her company. “My incredibly _lovely_ company, might I add,” Sana said with a wink. “And just my company. If anyone gets any ideas, they get kicked to the curb. Very swiftly.”

“So Steve…”

Sana grimaced. “He had very creative ideas, but he never tried anything sexual. But I won’t stand certain things, even if they are just words.” Chaeyoung didn’t press.

“I understand. I think,” Chaeyoung said, the wheels turning in her head. She was really here wasn’t she, about to start essentially a sugar… relationship. She had really gotten to this point, the point that those assholes like Steve Kim bragged about at venture dinners, all the girls he could get, only with the benefit of his money of course. And here she was, doing the same thing.

Chaeyoung still wasn’t quite sure what possessed her to essentially proposition Sana. The feeling she’d had the night of the Equality Conference, watching Steve wind his brawny arm around Sana’s slim waist, watching him press his thick fingers into the side of her dress, the overwhelming sense of nausea that rose up in her throat then, had definitely addled her brain. Plus, years in the tech world had given her an ill-advised sense of protection over any women that came into her world, though she usually paid no mind to those hanging off the arms of tech bros, giggling at their every word. So her first thought had been Sana needing to crawl back to Steve eventually to make ends meet, and she hated it with every fiber of her being, tiny as it was. 

Some sick part of Chaeyoung maybe even liked that she could have Sana now, and that Steve couldn’t. She pushed that part deep, deep down into the dark place of her mind.

However she’d gotten here, it felt too late to back out now, as she scanned the sheet of paper in front of her. It was fairly simple. Chaeyoung would provide Sana (and it was always just _Sana_ , with no last name) with an allowance, which was fine. She’d pay for any events, dinners, and trips away in which Sana had to accompany her. They were just words on a page, but they trickled into Chaeyoung’s brain almost as soon as she read them and reformed into fantasies, pictures of Sana glimmering across the table at Pierre Gagnaire, of her taking Chaeyoung’s picture atop a skyscraper, of her trailing her hand across her back while getting her another glass of champagne. Chaeyoung shivered. 

It was all laid out in the contract on the table, all sorts of things, wild things, things beyond Chaeyoung’s naive ideals, neatly typed into bullet points and small print. And it was hers for the taking; she just had to reach out and grab it. 

Chaeyoung felt a sense of deja vu rush through her. When she looked up, suddenly it wasn’t Sana’s sparkling eyes looking at her but the Musinsa VP of Mergers and Acquisitions, pushing a piece of paper towards her. Offering her the world, just in exchange for something she’d built, something she’d worked hard on. She’d signed then, and had changed her life. And she signed now too.

It had been two months since then, and Chaeyoung had fallen into her role with a little too much ease. That hot feeling she had gotten when buying Sana a coffee never really went away, no matter how many drinks or clothes or bags she bought for her new sugar baby. And Sana never said a thing, just smiled that knowing smile and said _thank you_ in a voice curated to encourage repeat behavior. Not that Chaeyoung needed encouragement. 

Sana had also taken to texting Chaeyoung, slowly at first, every single day as of late. Simple things, like _good morning sunshine_ , _have you eaten_ , _drink warm water today_ , all peppered with emojis that made sense only half the time. They made Chaeyoung feel warm inside in a way that she wasn’t sure was strictly allowed according to the contract. Most of all, they made her realize how lonely she had been until she had someone actively caring about her on a daily basis. She had Nayeon, but Nayeon mostly judged her from afar with some rare acts of compassion sprinkled in between. Sana was something else.

Honestly, Chaeyoung was having the time of her life. She began to wonder why she’d never thought of something like this before, ever since her last relationship had imploded over her long hours while working on StyleSlice. Sana never expected her to come home for dinner right at 6 PM like a girlfriend would, Sana didn’t whine about Chaeyoung checking her work emails and taking calls right at the dinner table, and most of all Sana didn’t want anything from Chaeyoung in the bedroom, which was a relief. Mostly. 

Instead, she would text Sana to meet her at the noodle shop down the street and Sana would be there, be happy to be there, would order the beef rather than the vegetable option and take the fancy soda from the refrigerator, and be happy to listen Chaeyoung rant about the arrogant founder who expected her to invest in his shitty company after one 15 minute meeting.

Sana was amused instead, especially when Chaeyoung turned sheepishly to her. “What would you have done?”

“Whatever I would have done would definitely pale in comparison to your big brained ideas,” Sana replied with a wink, stuffing a piece of meat into her cheek with a halfway indecent moan. “God, this is so good.”

Chaeyoung smiled at first, then frowned. It was a typical Sana response, one that she had gotten used to over the last two months. Flirty, complimentary but not to the point of groveling, and designed to reveal absolutely nothing about herself. 

“Seriously,” she decided to say. “I want to know what you would have done.”

Sana blinked at her. “Me?”

Chaeyoung nodded. “Yeah, if some dipshit had the audacity to ask for your money like that. Or time, or something valuable. What would you do?”

Sana looked genuinely perplexed. Chaeyoung sat in the silence between them for almost a minute, panic growing in her chest as she wondered if she’d said something far too outlandish this time, and plotted how to take it back when Sana spoke up. 

“I don’t like doing anything that I don’t want to,” Sana said after a pause, keeping her eyes on her soup. She bit her bottom lip hard enough to break skin, eyes searching the table but not meeting Chaeyoung. “So I would say to fuck off, probably. In the fantasy where I’m a– whatever you are, I guess.”

“Angel investor,” Chaeyoung said softly. Over the past two months, Sana had mostly been her flirty self, the type of person that Chaeyoung had first met in the coffee shop, someone who was never shy to say exactly what she wanted, and bat her eyelashes to get it. This Sana, bashful and surprised, was a kind of revelation. “You could be one too. An investor one day. VC, corporate, anything you want. Or you could start your own startup. Anything. It gets lonely, being who I am in this industry.”

Sana laughed at that, looking at Chaeyoung once again. Whatever she had been thinking had been wiped clean off her face, and her eyes were all mirth and teasing now. It was like nothing had happened. “I could never dare to compete with you.” 

Well, maybe not nothing ever happened. Because as hard as Sana was trying, her voice still ended on a wistful note, wobbled ever so slightly. 

Chaeyoung didn’t press, but she put it in her back pocket. Maybe Sana had gotten to know people like Steve Kim not just for the money after all. 

And so, here they were, in the elevator up to one of Chaeyoung’s industry events, a soiree of entrepreneurs and venture capitalists and corporate innovation leaders and everyone in between. 

She had avoided bringing Sana to anything in the building at all since she didn’t want to deal with Steve Kim even seeing her, but now it felt like she was doing Sana a disservice if she actually liked being at these events the way Chaeyoung suspected. That made one of them, though Chaeyoung never felt like she could miss out on showing her face and remaining relevant in Seoul’s innovation ecosystem. 

Sana’s fingers helped calm her heartbeat as the elevator dinged open onto the lobby of InnovationCore main event space. As usual, Demo Day was in full swing but the pitches hadn’t begun yet. Chaeyoung could see her friend Tzuyu trying to corral the judges into a small huddle, and she checked her watch. Only 6:15 PM, enough time to run to her office and drop off their coats so they didn’t look like total squares in heavy coats. She tugged on the hand that Sana had been holding, and Sana started at the movement, having been staring at the crowd, and the powerpoint starting back up that read in cheery font “Demo Day!”

“We can sneak into my office real quick to drop off our coats.”

“Is it really sneaking if it’s _your_ office?” Sana whispered back, biting back a cheeky grin and failing.

“I guess not,” Chaeyoung said as they made their way down one of the hallways branching away from the event space. “I forget you haven’t been here before.”

Sana looked curiously at the door they stopped in front of before Chaeyoung pushed inside, somewhat embarrassed that she hadn’t cleaned up the week’s clutter before thinking about bringing Sana here. The half-dead plant, the random branded pens scattered across her desk, the sticky notes on the thick frosted glass all blinked into sight when she turned on the lamp. Chaeyoung began to apologize for how messy it was, but Sana just made her way to the glass, to the part that wasn’t frosted to look out at the city. 

“Feels like you can see the whole city from here,” she said softly. “It’s gorgeous.”

And Chaeyoung forgot about their coats. 

In these whole two months, she had been enjoying Sana’s company immensely, enjoyed having lunches and dinners with her at lavish restaurants, enjoyed stopping by the Hotel Lotte Prada just to get her something nice, even enjoyed sending the 2 million won every week that Sana had requested, knowing that Sana was going to be okay because of it, whatever she needed the money for. 

But she hadn’t known Sana, not really, not what she used the money for, what she did in the times she wasn’t with Chaeyoung, where she was from, why she was here in the first place. She’d respected that Sana didn’t share those types of things, especially with the contract they’d signed outlining what was expected, and what wasn’t. 

But here, and now, with Sana’s face lit up by the neon signs and distant lights of the streets of Seoul against her own office window, Chaeyoung was starting to feel like she might like to know Sana. The contract seemed very far away, and it didn’t forbid getting to know each other better after all. Sana was here, right in front of her, and Chaeyoung suddenly _wanted._ Wanted to know what Sana did every morning, wanted to know how her hair felt tickling across her nose in the morning, wanted to know what foods Sana was picky about and what she could inhale at any given moment, she wanted to know what Sana thought about, what she _dreamed_ about, everything Sana wanted in the world, and Chaeyoung wanted to get it for her. 

“Let me take your coat,” Chaeyoung said, tone almost at a whisper. Sana turned to her with the brilliant smile still on her face from looking out of the window. 

“Thank you,” Sana said, revealing a deep blue halter dress that skimmed over her body like ocean water. 

“We should get out there,” Chaeyoung continued, not moving as Sana walked towards her. Had her office always felt this small, especially now as Sana moved so quickly towards where Chaeyoung was blocking the doorway with her body? “The pitches will start soon.”

“Mm, you can’t miss those,” Sana said.

“No, we can’t.”

It happened again, where Sana blinked, surprised, before it was wiped away. “Of course. Can’t have me wandering off in case you need me.”

“I need you to help me listen, silly. I’d love your input on whether or not these companies would be good deals for investment.”

Sana let out a breath, a mix between a laugh and a choking sound. “You must be really lost to look to me for help.” But she couldn’t keep the excitement out of her eyes. 

“Never,” Chaeyoung whispered. Sana was close to her now, and it was times like these where Chaeyoung keenly wished she was taller. Sana in heels just towered over her, and normally those things made Chaeyoung feel small, made her want to reach under her desk and pull out her emergency Louboutins that gave her confidence a boost when walking into a board room full of crusty old men. But now? Chaeyoung was breathless. Sana leaned in closer, to her own excitement and horror. Had Sana read her mind? Did she somehow know what Chaeyoung had been thinking?

“Better move then, captain,” Sana said, pushing gently on Chaeyoung’s shoulder. “You’re blocking the door.” 

Chaeyoung flushed and moved to the hallway. She had gotten caught up in how Sana had looked, caught up in everything. It was a business relationship, and she didn’t have a right to think otherwise. 

But in the hallway, when Sana shyly caught Chaeyoung’s hand in hers as they walked back to the main event space, the possibility of it all crawled back into Chaeyoung’s heart, and made a home in its tender spaces. 

And afterwards, Sana was completely unstoppable. She practically bounced on her way to Chaeyoung’s office, talking excitedly about the last startup to pitch in the competition.

“God, I can't get over that last one! The Oopsy-Daisy one, what was the company called?”

“Daisy Beauty,” Chaeyoung offered, smiling to herself as Sana barely paid her any mind. She had never seen Sana so excited before, and she cheered to herself that her hunch had been correct. Sana did like Chaeyoung’s world, the world of startups and innovation and grit and money that she had reluctantly learned to operate in so many years ago. 

“Oopsy Daisy is just such a great name for makeup remover, I can’t,” Sana kept saying, almost tripping on her heels she was so excited. “Oops!” Then she dissolved into giggles. “God, how timely.” 

It was a bit obvious that the two glasses of champagne that had made their way into Sana’s system were working wonders on her ability to chatter about whatever thought popped into her mind. Chaeyoung didn’t mind in the slightest. She was busy congratulating herself on the best idea she had ever had, bringing Sana to Demo Day. Not only did she anoint herself designated driver, keeping her off of the alcohol and away from Nayeon’s judgement, but Sana seemed to have a fantastic time. And her idea of a good time these days seemed intricately tied to whether or not Sana was having a one as well. 

She was still buoyed by Sana’s excitement when they gathered their coats and stepped out of the office, so much so that Chaeyoung was distracted, smiling silly at Sana, when Steve Kim stepped out of the men’s restroom and stopped cold in his tracks at the sight of them. He swayed a bit when he pointed a finger at the two of them.

“You!” Steve had never been eloquent, but that was abrupt, even for him. 

“Me,” Sana said evenly. She subtly slipped her hand into Chaeyoung’s coat pocket, and Chaeyoung tried to remain nonchalant as possible while Sana rested her fingers on her palm. 

Steve turned his nose up at her once the shock left him. “I don’t do second chances, so if you’re here to see me, I suggest you leave.”

 _I have to work with this man,_ Chaeyoung thought as indignation boiled up in her. _I have to see this man every week. I cannot afford to blow up at him._ “She’s with me actually, so don’t worry about yourself here.”

“With you??” Steve’s eyes seemed to actually pop out of his head. “Hmm. Good luck with that then. I hope you know she doesn’t put out.”

“Not for you,” Sana said as Chaeyoung scowled at the implication. Her voice was even, cool, and the only indication that she was agitated was how her fingernails dug into Chaeyoung’s palm, tucked away in her coat pocket. 

Steve spluttered and stomped down the hallway without a response. 

“He’s too drunk to do anything right now,” Chaeyoung said, watching Sana watch him go. She felt rather than saw Sana’s agitation as she squeezed her hand a little too hard. It squeezed Chaeyoung’s heart in turn, and she searched Sana’s face suddenly, feeling like she’d had something to drink after all in spite of her stone-cold sobriety. 

But Sana blinked, and with it her face changed as well to the excitement she had just expressed. 

“I’m with you, hmm?” she said, eyes sparkling in the light of the hallway.

“Ah– I mean, you are physically here, with me, you know,” Chaeyoung said quickly. Despite her earlier revelation that she wanted to know Sana more, she was still wary of moving too fast to any sort of implication. “But we should get going, before it’s too late anyway.”

“Of course,” Sana said, deep in thought as they made their way back to the elevator. People murmured in distant rooms as they walked down the deserted hallway, talking business and pleasure and probably mixing the two with no remorse. Chaeyoung was used to this scene, taking in the sounds of an event dying down to the last passionate embers, and she enjoyed watching Sana take it in as she murmured something of her own. “Oopsy-Daisy…” 

Chaeyoung took the opportunity to talk about anything other than Steve. “Yes! I’m glad you liked them. They’re definitely in my wheelhouse, female founder and all. You think they’ll be a good investment?”

“Me?” Sana exclaimed. “I mean, I don’t know. Don’t you need a lot of, like, data or something to make that decision?”

Sana let go of her hand to press the down button for the elevator. Chaeyoung held back a whine, then bit her lip in surprise, not sure where that impulse had come from. 

“Of course. If their cap tables are shit no one will want to touch them, but I really focus on the founder actually. A company can be great, but no one wants to invest in a great company with a shitty person at the helm. This industry is all about who you know and who you can get to know. That’s what sucks and what’s great about it, I guess.” She paused, please that Sana was paying rapt attention. “I want to know what _you_ thought though.”

“Why?” 

_I want to know all your thoughts, if you’ll let me_. 

“I think your opinion matters,” Chaeyoung said instead. “You clearly have one, so why not take it into account?”

And the wind was even colder when they stepped out into the parking garage, but Chaeyoung was warmed by the memory of Sana’s smile all the way to her car.

## Four ✨

“My mom used to wear scarves like that.”

Chaeyoung tried her very best not to startle at Sana’s statement as they stepped out onto the sidewalk outside of Chaeyoung’s fancy apartment building. The doorman had given Chaeyoung quite the cheeky look when she’d met Sana in the lobby, waiting primly on a velvet ottoman and smiling at a baby in a carriage. She had scrambled out of her apartment when Sana had arrived early for their planned lunch date, and just tossed on whatever warm thing that was hanging on her coat rack in a rush.

She looked down at the scarf in question, a silk patterned scarf from Bvlgari with some ostentatious tiger on it. Out of context, Sana mentioning her mom meant barely anything at all, an offhand remark made from a remembered detail of someone’s past life. Maybe a fond memory, bringing a smile to someone’s face about the way a scarf was knotted.

Except Chaeyoung knew by now that Sana never made offhand remarks. Everything Sana said had been thought about, picked over and approved before it made its way out of her mouth, at least in front of Chaeyoung. She tried not to startle, and she tried not to feel the pang of sadness that Sana still felt like she had to filter every word around her while simultaneously filing away that tiny bit of information that Sana was unknowingly fed to her most voracious consumer. 

It wasn’t like Chaeyoung kept physical files on everything personal Sana would mention anyway. It felt creepy, even though she was dying to organize her newfound interest in Sana the same way she organized everything else in her life, in Excel, color-coded with conditional formatting. So she settled for mental filing, putting that piece of information into her mental box titled Sana Facts, a box now overflowing with helpful and less helpful snippets of information.

(Sana’s shellfish allergy? Helpful. The exact way her eyes shimmered as she approached Chaeyoung’s Tesla? Enjoyable, but not so helpful.)

She also told herself that it wasn’t weird to remember things about Sana, especially as she was certain Sana was telling her things about herself for a reason. In the first few weeks of their arrangement, Sana would always deflect with a joke or a smile, but there had been a marked change recently where Sana would drop seemingly random bits of information about herself, perfectly packaged as a casual aside in her tone of voice with only her eyes betraying her. 

Chaeyoung, desperate to soak up any information about the object of her interest, ate it up. But all she said now was, “Oh?”

Sana seemed oblivious about Chaeyoung’s inner panic and joy. “Yeah, she used to knot them right at the neck. It’s very important to keep your neck warm, you know. That’s what she always said.”

“Not wrong,” Chaeyoung said, fingering at the random draping of her scarf. “I catch a cold instantly in weather like this without my neck covered. Or like, any part of me.”

Sana said nothing, eyes crinkling at the corners as she looked at Chaeyoung’s neck carefully, fingers reaching up to adjust the ends, poking out over her jacket. Chaeyoung did her best to breathe as Sana’s fingers brushed over hers, and failed as Sana swatted her hand away to gently graze her fingers at Chaeyoung’s throat. Sana pulled the scarf loose and snapped it twice in the air, frowning at the creases while Chaeyoung tried to process Sana’s hands being so close to her lips.

“Do you own an iron, or do I have to start confiscating these from you until you take care of these? This is real silk, isn’t it?” Sana said, sounding just like a mom, or a loving yet chagrined partner.

“Ah– erm, I mean. I own one,” Chaeyoung managed. Her throat felt exposed, vulnerable from the cold air but mostly from being stripped by Sana’s skillful hands. “I just don’t have a ton of time to use one.”

Sana tutted. “Here.” She had folded the scarf up into one long strip, ends jutting out in a point as she regarded Chaeyoung. “Let me.”

Chaeyoung leaned forward before the words even left Sana’s mouth, and she shivered at the feeling of soft silk wrapping around the back of her neck. 

“Lift your hair.”

Chaeyoung obeyed, transfixed by Sana’s look of concentration as she wrapped the thicker part of the scarf around Chaeyoung’s neck and brought the ends to the front, tying a loose, large knot right in front of her collarbones, her delicate hands moving slowly as her forearms brushed the front of Chaeyoung’s coat. She watched the flesh of Sana’s bottom lip give to her teeth, biting hard enough for her lips to bloom red. She watched Sana’s eyes narrow, watched her lips part ever so slightly, felt the puff of warm air against her nose. It felt domestic, too intimate.

She let herself close her eyes, which were watering from the sudden flow of harsh wind right outside of her apartment building, and imagined that Sana did this for her every day before she left for the office, a morning ritual consisting of Sana’s careful hands and loving touch, a touch she didn’t even have to imagine right now as Sana patted down the scarf around her collarbones.

“Chaeyoung?”

Chaeyoung blinked her eyes open to find Sana staring at her, smiling slightly, not at her face but at the scarf. 

“Yeah, just like that,” Sana said, nostalgia tingeing her voice. 

Chaeyoung wanted to reach up and grab Sana’s hand, which was now pulling away from her, and keep it right there close to her heart. She wanted to press her cheek to Sana’s knuckles, like a gentle gut punch to her soul. She wanted to turn her face slightly to the left and feel what her skin might feel like under her lips. 

Instead, she let her withdraw. 

“Thank you. I have a company I need to review for lunch today actually,” Chaeyoung said, forcing herself not to stare at Sana’s delicate hands. “Do you mind listening in? I could use your perspective.”

“Oh! Yes,” Sana said, eyes bright. “I mean, if it will help _you_ , sunshine, anything.”

Chaeyoung knew that it was a line, one of many Sana dropped on her every single day, one that she had gained the privilege of having but a line nonetheless. It didn’t stop her from filing it away in her mental Sana cabinet though, along with the whole scarf situation for future review.

And future review it she did. Chaeyoung came up with her second brilliant, billion won idea re: Sana. The first one, that Sana liked Chaeyoung’s world, the world of startups and crazy ideas and money thrown around on egos and equity, had gone over spectacularly well in her opinion. 

Chaeyoung had even gone out of her way to secure a coworking membership for Sana at InnovationCore, and the look on Sana’s face when she’d dropped the access card into her hands had been well worth it. _It’s your new home away from home,_ Chaeyoung had said when Sana asked why. _You can come here to work, or relax, or eat the gourmet bagels and drink the nitro coffee on tap._ Sana had let out a giggle, not the flirtatious one from their first days together, but a genuine sound of joy.

Chaeyoung chased those sounds of hers these days, and thus plan number two was born. She went back to the store, to try and find an exact match for her plan’s purposes, but ended up settling on buying two brand new tiger-patterned scarves, neatly wrapped in separate boxes.

She took one box with her to a late night meeting with Sana at the coworking space, when most people had packed up and gone home. The top floor of InnovationCore’s office spaces boasted some of the most spectacular scenery of the city at night that Chaeyoung had ever seen, and she had been in a lot of sparkling downtown Seoul buildings. She knew it too, and was glad that Sana also seemed to appreciate it.

When she walked into the top floor, Sana was seated in an armchair leaning against the wide open, floor to ceiling windows that decorate the top floors window. It was just like that first night at Demo Day, when Sana had leaned in close enough to the lights for them to reflect in her eyes. 

Sana looked the prettiest like this, Chaeyoung decided. Not like Sana wasn’t ever _not_ pretty, but like this, relaxed and resting against the arm of a chair, heads almost dropping off into sleep in her curled fist, Sana looked her most genuine. Like she was taking a moment to breathe, to let herself rest, before she pulled on her tightly drawn mask once again. 

Chaeyoung hesitated, not wanting it to end, but in the end it wasn’t up to her. Sana turned her head and smiled, her teeth illuminated by the neon lights. 

“It’s late,” Sana said, and Chaeyoung fully prepared to open her mouth to apologise so asking to meet so late. “Are you having trouble sleeping?” The look of pure care on Sana’s face stopped her. 

“Not at all,” Chaeyoung said. “I just wanted to see you, and I’ve been working on the tricky legal details of an equity grant recently, and working late and I figured if you were in the area… I wanted to see you.”

“You see me,” Sana said, a smile in her eyes. “What do you think?”

 _A brilliant, beautiful, captivating woman._ “You look a little cold,” Chaeyoung said instead. It wasn’t her wittiest segue, but it was good enough for her purposes. “I have something for you.”

As always, Sana was delighted with the prospect of a gift, her eyes growing big while she tried and failed to hide a smile. “You spoil me so well, sunshine.”

“I hope you like your latest spoils then,” Chaeyoung said, congratulating herself on her hands only shaking a little bit as she handed the heavy white box to Sana. She watched her pull apart the ribbon on the front with care, putting it aside like she wanted to save it for later. It warmed her heart, but she still waited with her heart in her hands as Sana pulled off the lid to reveal the scarf.

There was a stillness as Sana slowly lifted the scarf out of the box. Sana said nothing, her lips a thin red line as she examined the scarf, fingers drifting over the edge, tracing the ribbons on the pattern, thumbing over the tiger. 

Chaeyoung waited, and watched before pulling the second box out of her bag. “It’s actually a pair,” she said softly, and Sana blinked, mouth finally dropping open. “I couldn’t resist, actually. I hope it… reminds you of good things from the past.”

“It does,” Sana said, in a soft tone that Chaeyoung had never truly heard. “Good things in the past, and in the present too.” There was a flash in Sana’s eyes, and Chaeyoung knew that Sana wasn’t dumb, that she realized what this type of gift meant. Everything else Chaeyoung had ever gifted her was fancy for sure, expensive as a given, but mostly without personal attachment. This type of scarf was unavoidably the one that they’d spoken of before, and they both knew it. 

Chaeyoung held her breath. It wasn’t an outright confession, as if things with Sana could ever just be outright, but there would be no doubt that Chaeyoung paid attention, that she _wanted_ to pay attention, and she wanted Sana to know it. If there was anything Chaeyoung had learned, Sana was smart. She could laugh off the scarf, thank her in that flirty tone that Sana had perfected beyond anyone else on the globe. They could try to forget that Chaeyoung had ever tried to cross the line drawn by their contract in ink. All of that flashed in Sana’s eyes, and she knew it.

Sana smiled. “I love it, Chaeyoung-ah.”

 _She loves it,_ Chaeyoung thought dumbly for one second before ducking her head into her chest, suddenly overcome with shyness. She realized that the extent of her plan had consisted of 

  1. Giving Sana the scarf
  2. Hoping that she didn’t hate her



And now Chaeyoung was at a bit of a loss on how to proceed. And Sana, bless Sana, could tell too. She wondered in the back of her mind when Sana had become so keen at understanding her moods and tics. Sana patted the couch next to her, the spot where her hand rested bathed in the same neon light from the window. 

“Come here and tell me all about this equity grant, then. Could you use my limited expertise?”

“Always.” Sana smiled widely, and scooted close when Chaeyoung sat next to her on the couch, which felt very cozy for its normal vinyl feel. Chaeyoung almost pulled out her laptop and got to work, which she knew Sana would be all in for. 

Something stopped her though. She’d come this far, given Sana a gift that could be halfway construed as personal, if taken really far be taken as carrying _intentions_ even. And Sana hadn’t run away. She hadn’t even recoiled, or shown (well-hidden) fake enthusiasm. She took the gift with open arms, and it made Chaeyoung want to push her luck _just_ a little further.

“Have dinner with me. Mugunghwa. 7 o’clock. Saturday.” _What?_ Chaeyoung fixed her eyes on a spot on the carpet, then squeezed them shut for fear of looking at Sana. What would she say, to such a sudden summons? God Chaeyoung regretted saying it almost immediately. Why, _why_ had she thought it a good idea to push her luck? In the darkness of her shut eyelids, Chaeyoung felt frustration welling up at herself. Sana would surely never want to talk to her again, after such a brazen–

“Sure.”

What?

Chaeyoung opened her eyes to Sana, _not even looking at her,_ instead looking at the reflections in the window.  
“Yeah, sounds good,” Sana said, as if she wasn’t shaking Chaeyoung’s whole world. “We haven’t gone out on a Saturday recently.”

Chaeyoung blinked. Of course. Chaeyoung had failed to remember, when trying to do something decidedly non-contractual, that it was a part of their contract to go out to fancy dinners, especially on weekends, quite often in fact. Sana would be expecting it, in fact. 

“Ah, of course,” Chaeyoung said after a silence that she knew Sana would not ignore. She was right, and was treated to one of Sana’s delightful and maddening head tilts.

“Unless… you don’t want to go?” Sana asked, the picture of concern.

“I want to!” Chaeyoung said quickly, searching for a way to salvage this. “I'm excited to! Maybe… maybe you can wear the scarf.” She flushed red.

If Sana was surprised, she didn’t show it. “Ah… I’d like to. It’s from you, after all.”

If Chaeyoung had been less embarrassed, she might have lifted her head in that moment and caught the brief glimmer of embarrassment in Sana’s own face, a slip of feeling in the idea of wearing such a personal gift from someone that… someone like Chaeyoung. She might have seen the way Sana’s cheeks pinkened, or was it the lights from the nightlife outside? She might have seen the way Sana’s eyes widened immediately afterwards, like she’d caught herself, and the way her face smoothed out into her usual mask.

But Chaeyoung was far too embarrassed, and when she lifted her head it was Sana as she’d always known her greeting her.

## Five ✨

Chaeyoung was a little tipsy. Maybe more than a little. She’d gotten a little tipsy to quell her nerves, then had another drink to quell the nerves she’d felt from drinking in the first place, plus all the alcohol she’d ordered to impress Sana. Maybe Nayeon was right and she _did_ have a problem… Either way, it was a hell of a time to realize it when Sana was whispering in her ear, having pinned her against the hallway wall leading to the Mugunghwa restaurant bathroom. 

“You’re bold tonight, aren’t you, Son Chaeyoung?”

Chaeyoung closed her eyes and barely stopped herself from moaning out loud. What was Sana even saying that for again? 

“Asking me to come home with you tonight?” Sana continued, lips just barely touching the skin of Chaeyoung’s ear. “All those things I never thought _you_ had the guts for. I guess it was under the surface this entire time?” 

Chaeyoung gasped, remembering what had led to this rather surreal turn of events. 

Dinner had started the way it normally did. She met Sana in the lobby of her apartment building, drove them to the restaurant and tossed the keys at the valet, barely even noticing the stars in their eyes as they drove the Tesla away. She was too busy watching Sana, and paying the barest attention to her surroundings so she wouldn’t trip or throw up or do anything else certainly embarrassing. 

Sana looked beautiful, as usual. She wore a deep purple jumpsuit with the back cut out a little too deeply, topped with the scarf, and it shouldn’t have worked but it _did._ And it made Chaeyoung want to get a little tipsy, as usual. She resisted at first, but the way that Sana looked had burned the part of her brain responsible for good decision making.

With the good decision making part of her mind down and out, she started to talk too. Freely, about not just work or the next stream of deal flow they were looking at for the week ahead, but about everything and anything in her life that bothered her. Chaeyoung had never once in their relationship talked shit about Steve Kim, but she couldn’t help herself now, just bursting at the seams about how much of an asshole he was. 

It was fuzzy when Chaeyoung tried to think of Sana’s reaction to her sudden flow of speech, and she cringed in thinking the worst.

She hadn’t stopped there either. Beyond her personal gripes with the asshole misogynists she worked with, she’d blabbed to Sana about her older sister, who’d fucked off to Vienna at age 18 and globetrotted the world working random remote jobs ever since. It was the sorest spot of her childhood, the comparisons that her parents made between Chaeyoung and Chaewon, and there she was, telling Sana about the time that her sister had ditched yet another family gathering for her foreign boyfriend and left Chaeyoung to explain it to her distraught mother. 

Sure, Chaewon’s relative open mindedness had really helped when Chaeyoung had finally come out to her, and now she sent her the cheesiest goddamn snow globes from every gift shop around the world she could find, but their relationship was still complicated. 

God, and speaking of complicated. She’d talked about Nayeon, and how Nayeon was worried about her. She’d slipped in an aside about her drinking, and then she remembered Sana’s reaction, a gentle placing of a hand over hers on the table, and a kind smile. _I understand,_ she’d said. _We can work on that._

The _we_ completely fried her brain, and then the rest was fuzzy, and somehow they were here. Sana leaning over her, breath hot on her face, lashes so close that they brushed over her cheek every time she blinked. 

Chaeyoung did what anyone, drunk or sober, would do. She begged.

“Please.” 

Was Chaeyoung going insane, or had Sana just _growled?_ “Please, what?”

“Come home with me,” she settled on. “Please, I’ll be so good. I’ll be so good to you.”

“Oh, you’ll be _good,_ will you?” Sana said, angling her face downwards. 

“I want you,” Chaeyoung whispered, not even sure that Sana had caught it. “Come back, please.”

“Okay then.” Chaeyoung blinked up at Sana, who looked unshaken, as if she’d made a decision. “Well then. Pay the bill.”

\---

“ _Christ,_ ” Chaeyoung gasped as Sana’s lips worked their way down her neck. Sana had that same look she wore occasionally, the one that looked like she wanted to devour Chaeyoung whole, and was just deciding where to begin. It seemed that she had decided on the column of her neck, and Chaeyoung could hardly complain as Sana’s lips on her collarbone sent a shock of arousal into her gut. 

“Never knew you were religious,” Sana murmured against her skin, before returning to gently biting her way up Chaeyoung’s neck.

“You’re learning a lot tonight then,” Chaeyoung said, gathering her bearings enough to flip up the light switch to the entryway of her apartment, just in time to illuminate the massive pile of shoes that they were about to trip over. “Sorry… I would have cleaned.” 

Sana giggled, kicking a few slippers underneath the untouched shoe rack right next to the pile. “No worries.”

The entryway light lit up most of Chaeyoung’s apartment, and if she were a bit more sober she might have cared about the rest of the mess that Sana was now privy to seeing. As it were though, her mind had one track that she was willing to follow.

Sana was still busy, threading her hand through Chaeyoung’s hair now as her other hand gripped tightly at her hips. “You’re so tiny.” 

Chaeyoung pulled away enough to pout. 

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like it,” Sana finished, leaning in to connect their lips. It wasn’t the first time tonight, but Chaeyoung moaned like it was, kissing back like she’d die if she stopped. Sana’s lips were just so nice, just like she’d fantasized about all these months, so soft and plush and particularly skilled at drawing the neediest whines out of her. It was after several of these that Chaeyoung gestured wildly towards her bedroom.

“We can go– in there. There’s more room, you know…”

“Wow,” Sana said, rolling her eyes while letting Chaeyoung go to grab her hand, leading her into her own bedroom. “What a line.”

“You’re here aren’t you?” Chaeyoung retorted once she passed over the threshold and closed her bedroom door. It was quieter inside, with her blinds still open and the gorgeous skyscape of the night illuminating Sana’s beautiful face, coming closer now until she had Chaeyoung backed up against the door. 

“I am.” Sana snaked a hand onto Chaeyoung’s hip again, as if it hurt to keep away. 

“It almost hurts to look at you,” Chaeyoung whispered, craning up to meet Sana’s lips again, giving herself a little boost by standing on her toes. 

“Close your eyes then,” Sana murmured, before kissing her deeply again and trailing her hands down Chaeyoung’s back. Everything was swirling, Chaeyoung’s senses going haywire at so many things happening at once. And before she knew what was happening, her feet were no longer on the ground. She opened her eyes in surprise, meeting Sana’s devious gaze and looked down to find– oh. Sana had scooped her up off the floor, holding her under her ass with her legs wrapped around her. 

“Is it my turn to find out something about you?” Chaeyoung whispered, halfway out of her mind, as Sana hoisted her over to the bed. “Are you a bodybuilder on the side or something?”

“It’s more like you’re light,” Sana whispered back, laying Chaeyoung against the messy sheets. “I’m going to need to put more effort into fattening you up, sunshine.” Chaeyoung couldn’t bring herself to care about how she’d forgotten to make the bed, when Sana was hovering over her like that, talking to her like that, like they had a future, like suddenly Sana was opening up and Chaeyoung would get to see all of her. She couldn’t wait.

Everything was still swirling though, even as Sana leaned down to lay her body over Chaeyoung, as she started to gently pull at Chaeyoung’s shirt, untucking it from her pants, as Chaeyoung felt like… like she couldn’t breathe as well as before.

Sana’s hands stopped pulling. Chaeyoung tried to get a good look at her, but the alcohol in her system made everything a little fuzzy around the edges, and Sana was blurry when she said “Chaeyoung, are you okay?”

I’m perfect, is what Chaeyoung meant to say, combined with something hopefully suave, but nothing came out. Actually, something did come out, a sounds akin to a sob.

Sana sat up even more. “Are you...crying?”

Chaeyoung realized that Sana might have been fuzzy due to how much she’d drank, but she’d been blurry for an entirely different reason. She blinked, feeling wetness roll down her cheeks. 

“No,” Chaeyoung attempted, reaching up for Sana again. “I’m drunk.”

Sana laughed, a gentle sound still to Chaeyoung as her vision got blurrier. “Yes, you are. Oh, god. Okay, hold on.”

Everything was blurry now, and Chaeyoung wasn’t sure of anything. Were her walls always that color, was her bed always such a large expanse of blankets, a sea of bedding impossible to get out of? She felt Sana leave in her distant mind, but when she put her head back down on a pillow that had materialized, not questioning where the warm blanket and neat stack of tissues next to her head had come from, nor the friendly, comforting hand that stroked her back as she fell asleep.

\---

It was snowing. It was snowing as Chaeyoung woke up and looked around her bedroom to examine Sana sleeping peacefully beside her, and tried to quell the panic roiling inside of her. Her bedroom was a mess from the storm that was Sana tearing through yesterday evening, but Sana herself was peaceful, burrowing her head deep into the pillow in a way that had Chaeyoung smiling in spite of herself. She started to lift her hand over Sana’s shoulder, and just stopped herself in thinking about what she would say to Sana in this state of panic.

God, Sana. Chaeyoung didn’t remember everything, but she remembered enough. The pile of used tissues next to bed seemed indication enough that Chaeyoung had had some kind of breakdown, and she cringed at the memory of it. She was surprised Sana was even still here. 

For some reason, she hadn’t thought of the aftermath in the morning, after Sana had been let into her life. Sana saw her as an aloof, powerful investor making change in the world, and she felt certain that the image had been shattered by how pathetic she’d been last night.

In her panic about everything, she didn’t notice Sana shifting about in a way that was far too active to be the movement of someone who was deep in REM, and Sana was blearily blinking up at her before she realized she’d even been awake.

“Uh… good morning,” Chaeyoung attempted, casting a shaky smile at her. Sana didn’t react, blinking more rapidly now at the mess around the room. Chaeyoung cringed, watching her watch everything as if she was only now realizing where she was. “Yeah, just ignore the snow globes, my sister, you know…”

“Oh my god,” Sana whispered. It made Chaeyoung’s blood freeze.

“Are… are you okay? Do you need any painkillers?”

“What?” Sana blinked as if she was just realizing Chaeyoung was there. “No, this was a mistake.”

Chaeyoung blinked back. 

“I’m… sorry,” she attempted, in an effort to ignore the feeling of her heart breaking. “I’ll... leave you to get dressed?”

“No, no,” Sana said, shaking her head. She laughed, a deep bitter sound that Chaeyoung hadn’t heard before. “I mean this was _all_ a mistake. Everything. God, I needed you, and you accelerated everything and it was all so tempting and I took it, like a fool. Even when it was _you._ And then last night, god. I shouldn’t have come back with you. Not when I knew you were so out of it.” 

Chaeyoung blinked, this time in confusion. Sana continued to look everywhere but at her, biting harshly into her bottom lip. “No, Sana, _I’m_ sorry. I usually don’t… react like that when I drink. I know I told you about… my problem last night, and I’m sorry you had to see it firsthand, but…” Another part of Sana’s statement caught her attention then. “Wait, _what_ was me?”

“I told you,” Sana said. “I’d seen you before. You’d never noticed me, probably because sugar babies on your colleagues arms weren’t your concern right?”

“I–”

“But I always saw you. I always saw you, and I wanted to be like you.” Sana sat up straighter in the bed, and it took everything in Chaeyoung not to reach out to touch her, as confused as she was at the moment. “You were free, independent.”

 _I saw you._ What did Sana even _mean_ by it? Chaeyoung was puzzled beyond belief, until she thought a bit harder about Sana’s cagey behavior. The way she always kept bits of herself from Chaeyoung, and yet had mentioned that she’d seen her before. _Looking powerful,_ Sana had said. Could Sana have really known who she was before they’d begun their arrangement, have really… wanted to be her?

“Why can’t you be free and independent? That’s what I’m always getting at anyway,” Chaeyoung finally said. 

“That’s the thing,” Sana said, bitterly. A bitter laugh. “I can. As of today, all of my debts are paid, thanks to your generosity. Everything I inherited, everything I racked up too. My worth is zero–” 

“You know that’s not true.”

“My _net_ worth. Zero, like I’ve dreamed of. The things I had to do to get here…” Sana shook her head.

Chaeyoung had been patient. But the dread was welling up in her, droplets of dread clinging to the parts of her heart that could grip.

“I’m happy for you Sana,” Chaeyoung started, hesitant. It wasn’t a lie by any means, but she knew when a conversation was leading to a large _but._ “And I want to keep helping you too…” She hesitated, but went ahead. “I _enjoy_ helping you. It’s, I mean not like you said when we first met, like a, a _kink,_ but it makes me feel… good. I’m so glad I could help you.”

“I’m glad too,” Sana said with a soft smile. “And you’ve been so… you were so… lovely.” She gestured in the air, trying to find the words. “You’re tender. I was weak. And you cared… no one ever got close enough to me to see the true me.” 

“I’m the weak one, are you kidding me? I wanted to,” Chaeyoung blurted. “I want to, still. The you I’ve seen is wonderful.”

Sana smiled. Somehow, it felt like the truest and most terrible smile she’d ever seen on Sana’s face. “You like it, and I’m glad you do. You’re a helper, in your work, in your business, in your investments.”

“...there’s a _but_ in there.”

“I don’t,” Sana said after a long pause, probably the first time Chaeyoung had heard anything close to a blurt. “I kind of hate it. I feel, I feel like a kept person. Like I’m not free, and I haven’t been but I needed this to pay my debts.”

“And you have!”

“Yes, I have. And I never want to do anything I don’t want to do ever again.”

“You don’t have to,” Chaeyoung said gently. “I…” Was it worth it? Saying it now? Was she sure of it? 

Chaeyoung was risky in everything she did, from building her company in the first place, to signing over acquisitions papers. She was risky when she was seven years old, daring to climb to the highest tree in the city park until her babysitter almost had a heart attack. She took the risk of signing up for the hardest classes in her high school, before getting sidetracked by the unstoppable allure of being her own boss at any age. She took the risk then, and she took the risk now. 

“I love you–”

“I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

Chaeyoung’s heart sank. And then it rose a bit, the problem solver in her finding its way out of the woodwork. 

“I mean, yes. If you don’t like the arrangement, let’s definitely end it,” Chaeyoung said, saying fuck it and reaching out to gently grasp one of Sana’s cold hands in hers. “I want to, if you’ll have me of course, to be with you. No contract. Just us.” 

Sana looked at her hand in Chaeyoung’s and pressed her lips together. “You.. love me.”

“I’m sorry,” Chaeyoung said quickly. “That was too much.” She didn’t take it back though. How could one take back the truth? 

There was a quiet, where Sana examined their intertwined hands on the bed. Outside. The snow kept lightly falling onto the railing of Chaeyoung’s apartment balcony. Below, cars hesitantly made their way through the first sticking snow that night, and people carefully walked across newly icy sidewalks. Inside, the snowglobes seemed to reflect the dim lighting in the room like little beacons of activity inside of the bedroom.

“I think in a different world I would let myself love you too, Son Chaeyoung.”

Sana went on. “I never intended for this to go too far... There’s a reason I had to do this to survive. To pay my debts.” She spoke faster now, all in a rush to the point where Chaeyoung’s mind was racing to catch up to her rapidly beating heart. “I don’t know if you’ll like me very much by the end of it. And knowing you, you’ll say you will but you can’t know. You just can’t.” 

Chaeyoung’s heart only raced faster. Was Sana saying what she thought she was saying? It wasn’t an outright yes, but it wasn’t an outright no either. And when was anything ever outright with Sana anyway?

“I can’t,” Chaeyoung began. “You’re right. But I want to try. I think you’re worth it. You’re wonderful. Your mind is brilliant. You could give me a run for my money, literally, in the business sense. And you’re brighter than so many of these dimwits who have offices.” She gained more confidence as she spoke. “And I know I have a problem, you know, with the drinking. I guess I’ve known for a while…”

“But that doesn’t define you!” Sana exclaimed. “I told you, we can work on that.”

“Exactly. But you don't know that it’ll work out, right? That you’ll like _me_ much by the end of things. And yet you were willing to try… it’s like that,” Chaeyoung said, squeezing Sana’s hand in hers. 

Sana was speechless for once in her life. She laid down against the pillow, then got up, then turned once more, all agitated. Chaeyoung let her, letting her hand slip through her fingers. For some reason, she felt oddly at peace, as if she knew that it wouldn’t be the last time.

“You… love me.” Sana pushed her brows together in confusion. “No, I can see it in your eyes that you mean it. I’ve watched you a lot, Son Chaeyoung as well, when you were busy doing other things.”

“You watched _me?_ ” Chaeyoung said, though it did seem fairly obvious. 

“Of course. The fur coat is one of your best looks, and I always appreciate a girl with style,” Sana said with a hint of a smile. “I… forgive me if I can’t quite believe it. That you love me.” 

“Take your time,” Chaeyoung instantly said. “I’ll wait for you.” 

“Do you mean it?”

“I may be reckless sometimes, but I mean what I say.”

Sana fixed her eyes on the window, watched the snow fall for a few moments. “I can’t love you right now, Chaeyoung. I need to be free right now, on my own. Unencumbered for the first time in years. I _need_ that.”

“Yeah, I know. I need time too I suppose. To get better, so I can be better for you,” Chaeyoung said softly, turning to watch the snow too. But the instant she turned, Sana touched her chin to turn her head back towards her face, and Chaeyoung melted.

“So you can be better for _yourself_.” Sana said gently. “But– if you mean what you say, that you’ll wait for me, then... I’ll take you up on that offer. It may be a while,” Sana warned, seeing the joy on Chaeyoung’s face, but unable to keep the smile off of hers. 

“I’ll wait,” Chaeyoung repeated. “I want you to be fulfilled. I have a vested interest in your happiness. I’ll wait as long as you need.”

Sana smiled, another true one. “Wow. I was so certain I ruined things, but here you are.”

“And here I’ll be,” Chaeyoung said. For a moment, they were smiling at each other for no reason other than the pleasure of looking.

“What will you do?” Chaeyoung finally said.

“Oh! I think I might just put my education from you to good use.” When Chaeyoung’s eyes widened, Sana laughed again. “Please, you weren't subtle. ‘Oh Sana, here’s a coworking membership! Oh Sana, come to this pitching event! Help me with these investment tables.’ But I appreciated it all the same.” She manuervered herself out of bed while she was at it, which made part of Chaeyoung pout and the more mature part happy, happy that it wouldn’t be the last time.

Sana dressed, like she always did, and made her way through Chaeyoung’s messy apartment, like she’d only done once, and then got to the door, wrapped in the silk scarf that Chaeyoung had given her. She stepped over that messy pile of shoes, glances around the cluttered apartment like she was memorizing it for the road.

“So I won’t see you for a while,” Chaeyoung said.

“Yes, for quite some time.” Sana regarded her for a moment. It had been a night of firsts and lasts combined. So what was one more?

Before she knew it, Chaeyoung was being pulled into a kiss, Sana reaching out to grab the lapels of her pajamas, reaching behind her to press her head to hers. Chaeyoung tasted everything she’d ever wanted from Sana in that moment. All of the secrecy, all of the sly winks and flirtatious glances, all of the vulnerability and tender parts of Sana that she’d never seen before, all of her wildness and intelligence and beauty and grit, all wrapped up in the firm press of her lips. Sana kissed her once, twice, and leaned back as if to regard her work.

“I’ll see you Son Chaeyoung.” 

Then she winked, and disappeared into the morning.

  
  


## Postlude ✨

The company was in stealth mode when it came across Chaeyoung’s desk, one of many rising star companies raising money right now. The CEO and Founder’s name wasn’t included, but as Chaeyoung browsed the details, the company’s pitch deck, the way things were worded and placed on the slides, she couldn’t help but feel that something was familiar. Everything on the pitch deck was beyond impressive. The market captured, the obvious traction they had gained with potential customers already in the works, and a large personal care company eyeing for acquisition already. But there was something else, from more than three years ago, levels of familiar. She scrolled through the pitch deck, almost able to put her finger on it, when she got to the final page. Her eyes glanced at the tagline, and she was up and out of her chair before she could even read the rest. 

_Holy shit._

While Chaeyoung was grabbing her coat, her office phone rang, the sound of her assistant paging someone in. 

“Hello?” Chaeyoung said after making a mad dash to grab the ringing handle.

“Hey boss, there’s a woman here for you.”

Chaeyoung took a sharp breath in. Could it be…?

“Who is she?”

“Her family name is Minatozaki. But she says that you have been expecting her for quite some time. She’s… wearing shoulder pads?”

It was a fitting last name for Sana. Chaeyoung couldn’t help her smile. Shoulder pads never went out of style for her, she supposed. 

“Send her in. We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

\---

_Ready when you are._

\---

Suddenly, you're in my bedroom under my sheets every night

Suddenly, I lose my fear, it feels good, yeah

I feel guilty, I feel nervous, I feel certain now

Maybe, maybe you can reach me, yeah

~enemy, Charli XCX

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this fic was born out of several things. First, it’s a bit of an overly specific AU from the world of entrepreneurship, based on my personal experiences in the field. Some vibes from this fic were also inspired by this write up by the tech investor Jesse Draper, aptly titled Investing in [Women Isn’t a Fucking Charity](https://medium.com/@jessecdraper/investing-in-women-isnt-a-fucking-charity-ceabe8918b9c).  
> But mostly, I saw those chaeyoung coat pics and I am a mere mortal. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
